Freak-Punching Muscle Monster: 5th Edition

A freak-punching muscle monster, with rules adjusted for D&D 5E.

Like A Sorceror, But Way Sillier

When in doubt, use the Sorceror rules for a Freak-Punching Muscle Monster.

Class Features

Range Limitations

The range of all spells cast by a Freak-Punching Muscle Monster is limited to the reach of their impossible fists. The area of effect, however, is not. To quote from the original (Pathfinder) description:

Thus, the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster may cast detect magic by squinting very hard and tensing their pectorals in a dimension-rending way, or they may cast false life by throwing Blue Steel and making their abs ripple in unholy accordance with antediluvian prophecies, but a fireball cast by the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster – the result of a near-relativistic-speed punch, thrown so hard into empty space that it causes oxygen to fuse and then explode around their fist – detonates in an adjacent square.

Similarly, they could inscribe their arcane mark by punching it into the surface of an object, create a spark through the sheer striking-power of their fists, daze an opponent by almost hitting them in the face but instead saying “flinched!” at the last second, break an object by punching it real good or even hit someone so hard – yet so subtly – that everyone within 50 ft. experiences a vision of hell.

At their highest level of ability, of course, the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster may disintegrate opponents with their fists or flex into a true form of the dragon.

The GM is the final arbiter of what spells have a limited range when cast by the Freak-Punching Muscle-Monster, and the GM may likewise freely prohibit the use of lame and inappropriate spells such as mount.